Since my daughter was an, ahem, accident/surprise and we weren’t mentally prepared, there were a lot of things we didn’t know about pregnancy. People mostly focused on the “positive” stuff like telling me my boobs would get bigger, how I can eat anything I wanted or my hair and nails would grow. Fantastic. I even got lots of unsolicited “personal” stories about labor. Those were my favorite. Horror stories of 35 hour labors, emergency C-Sections – fully detailed. That’s exactly what you should do to a pregnant woman – tell her how horrendous your experience was. And after people would tell me these stories, I’d get reassured that mine will be different. Cause that makes everything all better. Word of advice…only tell personal labor stories if you are asked!!!
So I compiled a list of the top 10 pregnancy facts every first time preggo should know:
10. Your gyno and you will become BFFs. You will see him/her more than some family members through out your pregnancy.
9. Using a makeshift belt loop extender. You can stay in your pre-pregnancy jeans longer. Score. Simply loop in a hair tie and hook it around the button. Viola!
8. Strangers will feel you up. Without asking. You will feel violated and it will continue until you pop that kid out.
7. Cravings can be a myth (for me at least). I was not craving weird things like pickles and ice cream. I just ate a shit ton of food alllll the time.
6. TOMS shoes are a hidden treasure. When your feet begin to double and triple in size, these are the best. Comfy, stylish and affordable. And they stretch – winning!
5. Sleep! We all know sleeping is non existent towards the end, but the pelvic pain!? That was worse than labor. And no one warned me!
4. Morning sickness happens not only in the morning but mid-morning, afternoon, late afternoon, and night. Don’t let the name fool you. If you have bad morning sickness, buy morning sickness candies called Preggo Pops. They are delicious and help. You can get them at any maternity store or baby store.
3. Screw the expensive maternity stores! Check out stores like Forever 21 or Target for blousy, large tops, loose dresses and lots of leggings. Saves you lots of money.
2. Acne. You will break out like a 13 year old going through puberty. For 10 months.
1. Snoring. I never snore, well not never – only when I go to bed after a long night of drinking. Pregnant snoring is a million times worse! I would keep my husband up and even wake myself up with it. All I have to say is Breath.Right.Strips. They are pretty damn expensive, but worth every penny.
Care to add any more?? 
– Amanda
