So now that the baby weight is falling off, a new post-baby bod wardrobe update is in order. I guess any reason to shop in my size again is reason to celebrate, but this time around things seem to have ‘settled’ differently. On my hunt for ‘mom of 2′ appropriate clothes I obviously went straight to Forever21.com because I am not crazy enough to venture to the mall yet for a full on shopping spree with 2 tikes. I need to give shopping my full and undivided attention….not worry about what time I need to whip the boob out for #2 or for #1 to have one of her infamous afternoon melt downs.
So, as I am shopping from the comfort of my couch – munching on cookies mind you – I noticed the obscene amount of crop tops they have.
In my day, we didn’t call them crop tops-they were belly shirts. And I wore them quite proudly with my blue rhinestone belly ring. Yeah, I was classy. When the hell did these damn things come back in style?! This is the last freakin trend a flabby gut 30-something year old needs to see. The fact of the matter is that these skinny bitches have the flattest stomachs EVER and I’m not gonna lie, I’m slightly jealous. I still look like I’m 4 months pregnant.
I remember a day when belly shirts were a staple in all girls wardrobe. Takes me back to the good old days in college…takin’ shots and dancing on bars with my fellow belly shirt clad sorority sisters.
I need to stop living in the past and leave the new belly shirts to the U25 skinny bitches.
Those damn lame anorexic skanky young ass biatches with their perfect six packs. UGH gross.
Me, bitter? Nooooo wayyy!
To translate my Sarcasmese, that means yes.
– Amanda
