In efforts to make Baby A laugh last week, I started dancing like a spastic maniac around my living room. In the middle of one of my weird arm-jerking moves, I pulled a muscle in my neck and shoulder. I feel like such a tool for even saying that, but I got nothing to hide. So yesterday morning I wake up and can’t move my neck left or right and I have numbness down my entire arm. I immediately call my sister who is a Physical Therapist and she broke the news to me that I most likely have a…
Child Proofing: My Arch Nemisis
0Now that Baby A is extremely mobile, she has pretty much said screw playing with toys and hello to her new friends the smelly garbage, my expensive pots and the stair case. Oh yeah, and every single cabinet in my house. It’s really fun. That only means one thing for me to do: time to baby proof. Kill me. In AntiMom fashion, I truly hate the way those child proofing contraptions look. Hanging all over the knobs and shit, looking all plastic-y. We spent good money on our house and furniture, now I have to crap it all up. UGH!…
South Florida’s Newest NY Deli – Zinger’s!
0I recently dined, or should I say stuffed my face, at a new deli around the corner from my house in Boca Raton, Zinger’s Delicatessen. As I walked into the sleek, modern deli, I was greeted very warmly by the staff and then began floating to my table on the delicious aroma that filled the air. Deli food is probably one of my top 5 favorite foods of all time, so hearing that Zinger’s makes practically EVERYTHING from scratch, I couldn’t wait to indulge. I began my decadent meal with a deli staple, matzoh ball soup. The matzoh ball was…
Has Reality TV Gone Too Far?
0Yes. It has. I love watching reality TV. It’s mindless, full of entertainment and drama. I love to unwind by watching my TiVo’d reality shows after a long day of dirty diapers and chasing around an almost 10 month old. My husband makes fun of me, but I don’t care. I love all the craziness of the Housewives and the Mob Wives, Top Chef’s, Real World & everything else Food Network, E! and Bravo produce. It’s my guilty pleasure. But I have to say, as I watched last nights season finale of ‘Khourtney & Kim Take New York’ I was…
Chicken Paranoia
0Thanks to numerous spells of food poisoning, I have become extremely paranoid when eating and cooking chicken. It has become so bad that I have avoided favorite restaurant spots and cooking certain recipes because they remind me of the horribleness that I once endured. Sometimes I think my eyes do tricks on me and I see pink when I cut into a nice, juicy piece of chicken. It may be cooked perfectly, but my freakish mind immediately thinks the worst and I push it away. To be frank, it SUCKS! I have to live in such fear that every piece…
Ohhhh Sexy Girlfriendddd
0My husband considers himself a movie fanatic. Claims he’s seen pretty much every movie out there, and I’ll admit, he’s right. He can quote the most random of movies, except one specific genre. The most coveted of cult movies – the coming of age, 80’s teen classics. What.The.Fuck. When I asked him about movies like “Sixteen Candles”, “The Breakfast Club”, “Pretty in Pink”, “Say Anything”, he just sat there, confused. ?!?!?!?!?! Ok, I’d understand if he maybe hadn’t seen one or two, but EVERY movie I mentioned he said no. How does he not know who Samantha Baker or Long…
A Toy Every Baby Should Have…
0After Christmas, Baby A’s toy collection has grown immensely. Shes obsessed with all of them, but mostly loves Violet, the stuffed bear by LeapFrog. That thing is awesome. You plug it into the computer and can personalize it to your baby’s name, favorite songs, foods, and animals. Its really cute how excited they get when they hear a song with their name in it. I know what your thinking, this is awfully similar to a cheesy mom post that I tend to stray from…but I’ve been feeling very sentimental these days thanks to the fact my lil 9 month old…
Slow Cookers Anonymous?
0My slow cooker addiction has yet to cease. Now family members know about my problem and are emailing me recipes. Enablers! Enablers! So naturally I HAVE to make them all. First on the list were Tangy Asian Meatballs from myrecipes.com. They looked easy enough and they were Asian. I could eat Asian dishes every.single.day. My husband, not so much. But surprisingly he inhaled these balls like nobody’s business. And I think he even licked the bowl…again. Tangy Asian Meatballs 1 lb ground pork 1/3 cup panko bread crumbs 3 scallions, white and light green parts only – chopped 1 large…
The Absolute Best, Lick-Your-Bowl-Clean Chili
0For Christmas, Santa brought me a slow cooker. WHY AM I JUST GETTING ONE NOW?!!?!?!??!?! I seriously am the last person on earth to get this memo. And I can’t understand why no one has told me sooner about the splendor that is El Crock Pot. It is probably the greatest appliance of all time-and I love my appliances. I can honestly say its better than the KitchenAid, immersion blender and food processor combined. Who ever invented this magical machine should have a golden statue erect of themselves so crazy bitches like myself can praise it every day. It has…
The Analyzation of Mindless Television
0Since being stuck indoors for the past 7 days with a sick baby, I’ve been watching a lot of TV. So from the lack of sleep in conjunction with the hours of mindless television, my brain is mush. But clearly there were some active brain cells still up in there last night when I was watching a re-run of “How I Met Your Mother”. It was the very first episode, surprisingly, one I have never seen. If anyone knows me they know I’m not one of those people that watch every show on every channel religiously. I have my favorites…
